Four Years Ago

Four years ago today was Thanksgiving Day.  It was also the day that, after eighteen long hours of labor, I delivered my son Matthew stillborn.

I knew going into labor that he wasn’t alive, but that didn’t make the time go any faster or the pain any less.  He was perfect and beautiful and will always, always be close to my heart.  We later learned from Matthew’s autopsy that I had a blood clot in my cord.

So, I write this today in remembrance of all babies born and lost too soon.  Little Matthew lived a very short life, but it was one filled wholly with love, joy, wonder and adoration.  He never hurt, never wanted, never knew meanness or anger.  Just love.  And that’s exactly how I remember his life cut short.  With love.

Until we meet again, I spend my time trying to fill the days of the two little ones I was able to bring home with smiles, laughter, and unconditional love.  My cup runneth over.

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